i haven't posted anything for soo long. and now i came back to share my feelings here. what i feel, what i need and what i scared with. ya i am at hometown having a great holiday without books, classes haha.
ok let's be serious.
i'm feel so sad nowadays (a long time a go act.) nobody knows what i feel bcause i'm expert at hiding something from let anyone knows. not bcause i don't trust them but i don't want to make the worried about me. i'm so sad bcause of my dad. he changed now. he did an operation for his legs. bothside. i know you will asked me why. bcause of symptom for long time when he was young. he had an accident when he ride a motorcycle. and now he feel the effect of the accident. but now, he forgot everything. at evening, he will sit near at stairs (outside of my house) to get some fresh air while watching other vehicles drive by. as soon Maghrib reached, he will ask me to get a key (car key) and tell us he want to go back (back where??!) he said he want to go back to Lot 623 (adress of our house). at first time, his action makes me feel curious. but now when he asked us to do that, we just stand still like nothing happened. when we told them "ni la rumah papa, Lot 623" and he will get mad while shouting loudly. how do you feel if your dad just like that? im so sad now (my tears drop). where is my old dad whom i loved the most. who will do anything for his youngest daughter. who will go to Barbie shop and buy collection of barbie dress, toy just for me. (bcause my mom doesn't want to ) i miss my old dad. his attitude now had changed.
Ya Allah, please let my family under your protection. forgive our sins that we made. bless my both parents. i want to see them happy. bring back the happiness of my family. and....... bring back my old Papa..... :'(
nickname : miah
30 March 1997
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